Moving On After Cheating
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by: michaelk060
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Word Count: 633
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 2009 Time: 11:09 AM
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One of the frequently asked questions that people ask is how they can save a relationship when cheating has occurred. Lets say that you are a married couple, or you are in a close long term relationship when one of you has cheated and then the other has chosen to forgive.
Once this occurs, largely people could think that once there is a crack in your relationship, things will be exceedingly complicated to solve; very much like a broken vase where you can cement back the pieces, but they will not be quite the same ever again. But is this always the case? Not necessarily. This is particularly true if you choose to forgive, forget, heal the relationship and allow things a second chance.
Not only can things in your relationship be glued back together again but your relationship has the promise to be something far more precious than ever before. Does this take hard work? Without a doubt, but with love as the motivation it is fulfilling work. The catch is, this is certainly a job that takes two!
The Healing Process
In order for you to have a head start in saving your relationship, logically, the cheating partner has to be absolutely on board and give up his or her lover with no reservations, no hesitation and no looking back. Then, the person who has been cheated on also has to be ready to forgive and move on. This is never the simplest thing to do, and even though it might be easy to say I forgive you, this is only the first small step. Once you forgive a cheating partner, it can take a long while until you truly sense the forgiveness in your heart, but just the same, it begins with your decision.
You may possibly say that forgiveness is instantaneous by the simply uttering the words I forgive you, but in truth, it takes time for this forgiveness to feel genuine and real. Do not be surprised or confused when this happens, it is entirely natural and happens 100% of the time.
Getting Past the Pain
There are layers of forgiveness which exist when it comes to something so deep as dealing with an affair and working through the very many deep issues. One layer is often recognizing that not only should you forgive your cheating partner, but you must also forgive yourself. In a lot of instances, this is part of the healing process which a lot of people actually miss.
In order for you to become completely healed, you must to be able to forgive yourself and consider yourself blameless. There is no space for guilt with forgiveness, and if you are considering yourself accountable for the demise of your relationship, that must stop. There are two people involved that share accountability for harming the relationship so seldom, if ever, is the breakdown in a relationship totally the fault of one or the other person. This, however, can not justify engaging in an affair, it only implies that you cannot hold yourself completely liable for the problems in your relationship, so do not let that happen. As soon as you see those kinds of ideas happening, realize those ideas are worthless, and just untrue.
Only when you have sincerely forgiven yourself and your cheating partner, will you be able to rebuild trust, where slowly, but surely it will return to your relationship. Http://Infidelity-Concerns.Com will help you through the discovery process and help you with the inevitable healing stage you will encounter. Everything is going to get better, so do not let this keep you down. You will get though this and help is close by.
About the Author
The free report at http://www.Infidelity-Concerns.Com can help you see this and provide valuable insights for your way forward. You can also go to http://infidelity-concerns.com/extramaritalaffairs for a wealth more of resources to help you though this that you can digest at your own pace.
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